I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
worst night to have a conscience
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
