my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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