Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
