ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
