Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
