Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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