Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
