I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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