Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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