In the future we'll all be gay
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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