Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
