Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
