the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
