Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
