So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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