I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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