you would pick up someone in the library
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
