If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
