i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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