dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
