I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
not ubering you a puppy
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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