The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
