What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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