but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
This couple is walking their pig around campus
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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