I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
