i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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