Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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