I look better un-naked...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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