I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
