u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
