you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she smelled like a LAN party
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
