now i know why i became what i already was.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
