she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
