Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
