No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
