If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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