I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
