honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
