i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we're making bets on your personal life
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
