I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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