saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
