She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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