all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
try to milk me bitch
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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