my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
