I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My Sexting was not on an AP level
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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