Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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