Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
