Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
