I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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