I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
