can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
