carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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