i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
